Publish date: 22 August 2023
Przeczytasz w 9 min
Today, I am 36 years old, with three children by my side and one I don’t know but am certain is happy. I became an egg donor. I feel fulfillment and a sense that, through a small sacrifice, I brought joy of parenthood to someone who eagerly awaited it.
Did I have doubts about becoming an egg donor? Yes, many doubts, up until the very last moment. Do I have them now? Absolutely not. I am proud that my willingness to help in my life didn’t remain just a desire but turned into actions. Did I do it for money? Absolutely not! The reimbursement for the entire process is something that doesn’t even cross my mind.
I had always dreamt of having a large family, visualizing Saturday mornings when my husband and I would cuddle in bed with our five children, and then we would prepare breakfast together. I dreamed of a house filled with laughter, a big Christmas table, and a bunch of grandchildren. I pretended that my dolls were my daughters and sons, creating a whole story in my mind about my future family, completely unaware that there are women who, at some point in their lives, find out they cannot have children, and their dream of a family will never come true.
But let’s start from the beginning. After college, I met my husband. We got married, and after a few weeks, it became clear that we would become parents. So, the fullness of happiness… everything according to plan. Anxiety about the baby emerged when more and more of my friends were losing pregnancies or couldn’t conceive. I wondered how our pregnancy would turn out, whether everything would go smoothly, and if the child would be healthy.
At the same time, I witnessed the despair of a friend who lost her daughter in the eighth month of pregnancy. She never became pregnant again, her body refused to cooperate. It turned out that her ovarian reserve, the “limit” of her egg cells, had been depleted. She gave up entirely, fell into depression, and her husband left her a few years later. It was then that I first heard about the possibility of a woman “receiving” an egg cell from another woman, although, in her case, it was not discussed for emotional reasons.
Years passed, and I gave birth to another two healthy, beautiful children. At the age of 30, we reached the pinnacle of happiness – the 2+3 model. However, the third pregnancy was a nightmare. Doctors warned me that if I got pregnant again, it would pose a great risk to both me and the child – my uterus had shrunk after three caesarean sections, and my circulatory system was showing signs of terribly painful varicose veins. My body was saying: enough!
I struggled to accept that I couldn’t bring another child into the world. It dawned on me that, if at all, I could become a mother again through adoption or by donating my egg to another couple. Housing conditions ruled out adoption (for now), so I began to explore the topic of egg donation. It took me a year and a half to reach this decision.
The procedure, in general, isn’t too complicated. I underwent verification, had discussions with doctors and psychologists, and went through numerous tests and examinations. I received information that I could proceed with the procedure. At the final stage, I was given medications, and temporarily, I didn’t feel great physically, although in my mind, I knew I was in a very important, incredibly conscious moment of my life. I am at a point where I’m giving a part of myself so that others can be happy.
The conversations with the psychologist during the preparation process were the most impactful for me because, in reality, the only aspects causing doubt were my reactions and the prospect of living with the awareness that I wouldn’t get to know these babies.
I volunteered at a children’s hospice, I’m on the bone marrow donor registry, I regularly donate blood, I’ve signed up for organ donation, and I still felt like I could do more. It’s just my nature. Every form of help is very important to me. We never know when we ourselves might need that help.
Parents seeking help in fertility clinics are conscious individuals, whose most significant unfulfilled dream is to have children. I know that by donating eggs, I have helped those longing for parenthood and have given the most beautiful gift the world knows – a new life.
We tend to be more afraid when we know less about a particular topic. I sought the opinions of many people, read, and chatted with women from all over Poland. They all said that the procedure is “nothing to be afraid of,” but that one needs to prepare mentally, understand it, and never doubt the validity of their decision. The egg donation program provides free psychological counseling, which allows you to clarify all your doubts and carefully consider the decision to help infertile individuals with the support of a competent professional.
By becoming a donor, I not only gave but also gained. I benefited from professional care and support from the best specialists. I underwent many free tests, including hormonal, genetic, and infectious screenings. It never crossed my mind for a moment that something could go wrong.
While it may be the least significant factor when it comes to giving the gift of life, it’s nice that the clinic provides financial compensation. Of course, I had to commute to the clinic, take days off work, and arrange childcare. But after completing the process, I received a flat-rate reimbursement of 4000 zł.
I received confirmation of my health through the results of many specialized tests that I underwent as part of the donor health assessment procedures. I’ve been thoroughly examined 🙂 First, they tested my AMH levels to check my ovarian reserve. They also checked if I was a carrier of any infectious or genetic diseases. These tests were worth over 5,000 złotych! And they gave me immense knowledge about my body.
There simply is no other option. I understood that if not me, perhaps no one else would come forward to help a woman trying for a child. I realized that whether or not you’ve given birth, in 90 percent of cases, you have hundreds of egg cells that will never be used for anything.
Having children, I know what a joy it is. I know how wonderful it is to feel the peaceful breath of a little one and how it feels to worry when they are sick. Taking care of children is the most beautiful part of my day. That’s why I’m glad I’ve given others the opportunity to experience these beautiful moments.
Nowadays, donating blood and bone marrow has become quite popular. In 2022, nearly 600,000 people decided to donate blood, contributing to a total of
Dr. Włodzimierz Sieg, Deputy Head of the Infertility Treatment Clinic and a specialist in gynecology and obstetrics, explains what egg donation involves, its implications, and